Chemically Imbalanced Comedy's Blog

Here is a ton of BEFORE pictures of the space!

We are working hard on our new space!

More updates coming soon, promise!

Shopping

by Angie McMahon

So yesterday was a big shopping day. We still don’t have ownership of the space yet (we get the key today around 2pm, I may Video Log it). So Harry (our space designer) and I had to sneak in through the basement to stack whatever we bought. So the morning starts with Harry climbing over the locked fence to unlock it so we can go in the basement (because the only key I have is the basement key). After Harry gets a huge bruise in the middle of his stomach where the fence got him we are in. He takes a look at the wood that is being left for us by the last Theater Company and decided lots of it is usable (most likely why it was left). We start on the adventure. First stop back at the Synagogue that is closing to pick up what I was told is a couple of good pieces of wood.

Please excuse my ignorance my Jewish blog readers but the Synagogue recently tore down a structure that they make every year for a holiday I am unfamiliar with. The way it was explained to me is an outdoor temporary shelter that you can see through the roof at the stars. For something like 30 days they pray in it at night then they tear it down. (I am so sorry, I am sure I a butchering this very sacred thing.) Anyway we get there and there are only a few pieces of treacle left in the parking lot. Harry decided we would take it cause it might make nice masking or decoration in the lobby. As we start loading it in the car someone comes over very quickly and says “Can I help you?” in that really load voice that just has the undertone of WTF? I told him Jerry told us we could have it. As if somehow that makes it better. Jerry runs a recycling center. So we call Jerry and he indeed verifies we are not stealing what they are gonna throw out anyway and that he said we could have it.

Then we are off to Jerry’s. Jerry is a pack rat. In the nicest way. We hit Jerry’s house and he says anything we want we can have as a donation. His main goal in life is to save the world and he saves everything he can find to try to find another use for it. He brings us to a very packed garage and starts to hand us wood, doors, tabletops, an electric paint mixer (?), some gels he found, and tries to pawn off on us some Styrofoam that is just eating away the ozone. He takes us to the basement and gives us nails, screws, and bits of fabric he has on bolts. It was hard to say no to him, but we tried to only take what we really thought we could use.

The truck was full and we had to make a drop at the space before going to Jerry’s actual recycling center to buy. We drop off the stuff (and Harry even pays a homeless guy in the alley $3 to help us move stuff) and we are out of time. Farrell needs his truck back by 11:30am so he can start his workday. We go and pick up Jordan (my daughter) from school and we are off to Home Depot.

We buy a mop, broom, some all-purpose cleaner, and a wet/dry shop vac. We hit the dollar store and get gloves, paper towels, brushes, a toilet brush, hand soap, toilet paper, hand soap, and some drop cloths. It is so hard to know what we are going to need. I tried to only get a few things to start us off on the first few days of cleaning then re-asses what is needed after we start to get messy. I spent $200 total yesterday and was having a panic attack about how fast the money was going.

Today I get the key; I am elated and overwhelmed all at the same time. I have a meeting at City Hall at 10am to drop off our space plans showing our seating, 6 months of bank statements, and 5 years of board min formatted to government standards.

So we begin…

The Walk Through

by Angie McMahon

Yesterday I did the walk through with The Artistic Home. This was slightly depressing and exciting at the same time. I remember the when I first moved out of my parents house. All the little things that were just always there that I took for granted. The moment that hit me was when I wanted to clip my toe nails and I realized I don’t own a toe nail clipper. Its not something you think about when you are packing up your boxes. It is something you just discover the moment you need it.

We walked through the space and the Artistic Director Kathy told me what was being left for us and what we would need to get. They are taking the door that leads from the lobby to the Theater. THE DOOR. I guess we don’t NEED a door, but I have never had to shop for a door before. They are taking the fire extinguishers, lots of the mirrors, and some of the shelves. We have to buy a new mirror for the bathroom cause they are taking it. Some of the walls have holes from nails and such and they wont be filling them in because the landlord didn’t tell them they have to so they aren’t. The landlord is out of town for a month so I can’t even take it up with her if I wanted to. And in the basement there is a few things that belong to the original space (like window frames) that they wont be putting back up (and I don’t want them to) but that we need to keep just in case someday this isn’t our Theater anymore and the owner wants it put back to its original way for some store owner. It is slightly sad to think about the end before we even get to begin. They are even taking the key box that hung outside the door. All of the lights (clips and lamps).

She told me that the basement use to get water but the land lord has assured us that it has been taken care of. She showed me how to set the timer on the heat, but it is stuck in Celsius and she never figured out how to make it Fahrenheit so she just kind of guesses on the temp.

We are buying some stuff from them. The grid, Fridge, one of the portable air conditioners and the seating banks. They asked if I wanted them to leave the speaker wires and I told them yes only because I don’t know anything about speaker wire or if we will need it. I figured if we don’t we can take it down.

I get the key Wednesday around 2pm. Then it will be offical. So much to do to make it our own.

by Angie McMahon

So I had an appointment to see my DBA caseworker. To hand in more paper work and get the process rolling. I wrote down that my appointment was at 9am. I had another Marketing class to get to, it also started at 9am but this was more important and I would have to again walk in late to my class. The class understood since it was mostly Theater Artists anyway.

I get to City Hall 8th floor at 8:45am. I was told by the front Desk guy that my appointment was at 9:30am actually “Just so you know” he says. Ok, what am I gonna argue and not get seen. The thing is I was rushing so I wouldn’t be late and stopped at a Gas Station after dropping my daughter off at school so I could get a cup of coffee. Shitty bad Foldgers coffee from the Shell station. But I still had my cup of joe. I sit down and take out my massive binder to go over my paper work to make sure I have all of it. Then I drop my coffee. The cup breaks and it splatters all over the floor. I am so embarrassed. I go to the front desk person and ask if they have paper towels so I can clean up the mess. “No we don’t have anything like that up here. I will call the janitor.”

How the fuck do you not have ANY paper towels in an office. Don’t you have a break room? What happens when someone spills something, you HAVE to call a cleaning crew. The city is so fucked up.

The front desk person then tries to corner off my spill with chairs. But he can’t because all the chairs are bolted to the floor and together. So he finds one of the broken chairs and moves it in front of the spill. Then makes a sign that says, “Broken Chair don’t sit” and puts it on the guard chair. What a mess.

At this moment I look up at CNBC (they have a large screen TV that you can watch while you wait that ONLY plays CNBC, or at least the past two times I’ve been) and the story title they go into commercial with is “Chicks with Bricks, when we get back.” It was somehow surreal.

As I am going through my paperwork I realize I didn’t make a copy of my lease. I have the lease with me, but I can’t give them my only copy. I hope they can make a copy for me. But they didn’t have paper towels so maybe they don’t have a copy machine either. What am I gonna do. Its now 9:15, I can’t score a copy machine at this time. WTF

Finally at 9:35am I get called in. I start whipping out my papers, so proud. For sure I am not missing anything this time. Except for the copy. We start to go through my stuff. She has to take my financial info to her boss for approval. “You have one person that donated $5,000 to your company,” she asks. “Yes, two years ago. We saved the money so that is why I noted it as to where the total sum came from.” I respond. “This isn’t some kind of a bribe to get into your company?” “WHAT? We are a not for profit we are allowed to take donations” “Yes but this sum is half of your expense report, where did he get the money?” “His work, how dare you.” I respond is a very very pissy manner. “I’m not sure that is why I asked. If you were A Million Dollar Company we wouldn’t think twice about a $5,000 donation. But because it is half of what you plan to spend.” she explains. “That is why he gave it to us. To help us with our goal of getting a Theater space. And beyond that we have more than that in our bank account and I have not planned on using all of our funds. I noted that.” Now I am almost yelling. “Well you will have to sign a sworn affidavit that this was a donation and that this person did not try to buy vested interest in your company.” “Fine, whatever I need to do.” I said. “And we need 6 months of your bank statements as well. Also your board min for the last 5 years needs to be formatted in State Regulated format. You need to show your elections.” “We have a board of 3 people, at the end of the year we look around and say does everyone want to keep doing this. Cool, we all stay the same position.” “Well you need to google how to format your Minuets and I need it in that formal way. The last 5 years.” “When do you need them by?” I ask. “The next time you are in is fine.” I ask if she can make me a copy of the lease and she says she can. So now for some reason I want to get as many copies of as many things as possible because I want to inconvenience her as much as she has me. And making her make lots of copies sure taught her a lesson. Sigh

She also told me she thought we would be declined on zoning because we did not show where our seats would be on the floor plan. I told her “This is the exact floor plan the last owner used to get their PAV license. And Occupancy already accepted this plan and it was stamped by Zoning.” She to shut me up took it and submitted it as is.

I got a call from her yesterday that Zoning denied by plan cause it didn’t show the seating. I have an appointment on Halloween to bring in the new plan.

Good thing the City of Chicago is so helpful to small buisness owners. And good thing they made the PAV process so much easier than before.

Sigh again.

by Angie McMahon

Tues was our first inspection. It was for the Occupancy Card. I have been told if we get the Occupancy Card we can open for business legally on a suggested donation basis, as long as our paper work is in to start the PAV process. We will also need to have a sign that says, “Voluntary donations may be accepted for admittance under Sec. 13-84-410 Chicago Municipal Code”.

So I was nervous about this inspection. Cause I have been told PAV is gonna take a LONG time. So without an Occupancy Card we can’t open. I was told by a friend that we should bring coffee and Donuts for the inspectors and they are more likely to be nice. I didn’t have time to pick anything up so I went empty handed.

My inspection also had to be attended by my 3 year old toddler, who at this point has not napped.

The inspector walks in, nice man. Grey hair that just barely touches his shoulders. He gave a huge smile and shook my hand. Then told my daughter how pretty she was. And we were back to business.

He started to tell me that we may find an issue with the fact that we only have one bathroom. That The Artistic Home got a variance from the Commish so they didn’t have to build a second bathroom. And that Commish is no longer with the city. BUT that was not what he was inspecting today. He is to make sure the space is safe for people to occupy.

He walked around and checked the way the doors swung, and what kind of doors we had (fire doors) the whole time my daughter was checking out what she could get into. She talked me into letting her have a pop (something she doesn’t get at home). “Fine! Just sit and drink your pop nicely,” I barked at her. She sat as nice as she could with smile ear to ear knowing she was getting away with something HUGE! “Jordan likes pop, yummmmm pop is good. Pop makes me happy mommy.”

The inspector found her charming. He gave me some inside info as to what the other inspectors are gonna look for. He was so kind as to do a walk through with me and show me what they are gonna look at and what to be prepared for. Big one is getting the paper work together that shows what new walls have been put in and that they have been fireproofed (something I hope Artistic Home still has in there files

And he said in a very official voice “I am going to approve you for Occupancy!” I am going to suggest 50, but now it will be up to City Hall after calculations of square footage how many they will give you. But I am recommending that this space is safe to be occupied by 50 patrons.”

YEAH! I hugged the inspector. Slightly inappropriate I know. But it can be so emotional, this whole thing.

Next back to city hall and we exchange words!

Angie McMahon

So I finish my Marketing Class at the Cultural Center and I have 3 hours before I have to be back at the Cultural Center for Spotlight Chicago.

Cutual Center is at Randolph and Michigan. The next step of our paper work (the stuff I just got a stamp on) needs to go to 121 N Racine (back to Oprah). I call my husband and ask him if he has any idea how to get there via public. He does not and it out to lunch and away from a computer. No problem I say. Grid system I shall walk in the direction I need to go till I find some El tracks and find a stop.

I start walking. Funny enough the first EL stop I find in the Green Line Clintion Stop. The next stop on the Green line is Ashland (too far). At this point I say fucking it. Not it is only another 6-8 blocks. I have walked this far. I am walking. I just so happen to pass Grand Stage on the way, and that was perfect cause I needed some Gaffer tape. Yeah for multi-tasking.

I get to the office of 121 N Racine. It is a very offical building. You have to give them your drivers licence and get a sticker for your chest that you have to wear while you are in the building. Very very offical like. But almost no wait. Total of 10 min, I got it all looked at, and our first inspection planned (for this past Tues. I will blog about Mon).

Then I ask how the hell do I pick up public transportation from here? The women told me its a bus. I don’t know why, maybe it is because I have a car. But I will almost never take the bus. I would much rather walk. So I did. I think about half way I stopped for lunch. Then got my way back to the Cultural Center for the Spotlight Chicago Event.

Quick note on the Spotlight Chicago Events. My favorite thing about it is trying to talk the teachers who are walking around looking for fun field trips for there kids that it would be more fun to have us as there Holiday Party Entertainment cause (say this next line like crazy Minnesota lady) “Where Chemically Imbalanced don’t ya know”. This event proves to every year remind me that we either are blessed with our name or cursed with our name. Either way most of the time people remember it after hearing it once.

By Angie McMahon

So after going to the wrong place I finally got my act together and made my way over to the department of zoning.

I arrived at 8:02am and the room was already packed with people. Yesterday “the list” got cut off for the DAY at four pages. They only started signing people up at 8am. I was third from the top on the third page. The man signing me up also told me at 8:30am I needed to go to the window in the large hall and get a stamp before coming here, but that it was good that I got my name on the list.

So I went down stairs to buy a coffee because Department of Zoning is one of the few federal offices that will allow food and drink in the waiting area.

I got back upstairs at 8:20 and sat down to eat my bagel and drink my coffee. At 8:30am sharp as a button the main window opened. There was no real line, so people just kind of got out of there chairs and kind of looked at each other hesitantly while making there way to the window. Kind of like at a baptism when they say the food is ready and for some reason even though every one has complained for the last hour how they are starving no one wants to be the first person taking food. I guess its Catholic guilt.

I was first, I didn’t care. I wanted to get to my Marketing Seminary at the Cultural Center. I was already gonna be late, but this was such an important part of the process that I couldn’t over look it. It became first priority!

So I got my little stamp and made my way back into the big room. The DEPARTMENT OF ZONING REVIEW! It even sounds scary. at 8:45am the people in line to sign up on the list were told the list was closed for the day and to try again tomorrow.

I sat writing in my journal just clearing my head and sipping coffee till my cattle call number was called. Some people waiting knew each other. As if they come here every morning. Many of them had large floor plans in big roles. It was a mix of business suit wearing folk and construction workers that have dirty jeans and pencils behind there ears.

At 9:08 my number got called “1420 W Irving” I jumped a hundred feet in the air so they knew I was there and didn’t skip me. The man next to me whispered “Hey its like you won the lottery, good luck with your review” I smiled and said thanks.

“Here, Here 1420 W Irving. I’m here.” I said flustered. A older man in a red tie and white shirt with small blue vertical lines on it was my guy today. He didn’t have a desk, he just stood in the back of the others. “Gimme your paper work” he barked. “How are you today?” I said in a soft way. “Fine, gimme your paper work” He barked in only a slightly genteeler tone.

He then took my paperwork to the back. Where ever that is. I imagine it is the place where angels get there wings.

He comes back about 10 min later with a large red stamp. He lays the papers out in front of me and starts to stamp them. With each stamp tears start to roll down my eyes. It felt like such an accomplishment. “Here you go miss, you try to have a good day hu” “Thank you sir, thank you for this” as I wipe my eyes.

Then I was off to the Cultural Center for my class. I walked in about 45 min late but it wasn’t that bad.

Next blog, this day continued and I walk to the west loop to get more paper work stamped.

by Angie McMahon

So today after dropping my toddler off at school at the ripe old hour of 8am I headed over to the Department of Buildings to get our Occupancy Card paperwork started. I zigged and zagged till I got to 120 N Racine (over by Oprah Studios). I get in right away and was told I needed to go to City Hall Department of Zoning to get my papers stamped first before coming back. So back to the car I go. Now I have an appointment in Rogers Park at 11am to look at some chairs at a Synagogue that is closing. I didn’t bring the phone number with me so I was prepared to be the asshole that was a no call no show.

I get to City Hall and work my way up to the 9th floor. I stand in one line for about 3 min. Then decided to ask someone if I was in the right line. I was not. I was pointed to another room. Stood there for another 3 min then decided to ask someone where I should be. I was told by a nice young lady “See the young good looking fella at the other desk.” I almost wanted to play 8th grade match maker after that comment and pass a note to him telling him she liked him. But I resisted. I waited in line to be put on the list when I finally got to the front of the line I was told the list was closed for the day and that I had to get to the office well before 8am to sign up on the list to MAYBE be seen sometime after lunch. Kind of like standing in line for tickets to a concert.

So now it is 10:30am. I hope in the car and make my way up north. Make it in just enough time. I was shown around the Synagogue at the chairs, tables, and fine art work they were so desperately trying to sell me. But alas the chairs will not work for what we need.

So I am home now with just enough time to blog, check emails, and phone messages before I have to get my kid and come back home for more work.

Sigh, I can’t wait for the space.