By Casey Pilkenton
I have always had dreams. Looking back on them, I could say they were pretty silly, yet they all revolved around entertainment in some fashion. For instance, when I was four, both my aunt and grandmother worked as waitresses and I wanted to be just like them when I grew up. You see the connection, right? Acting, waiting tables. There isn’t one darn thing silly about serving people their food, unless of course your name happens to be Casey Pilkenton, a name synonymous with such words as “neurotic,” “flighty,” “anxiety-ridden,” and “spastic.” Given the choice between someone like me and a drunken walrus bringing your order of spinach-artichoke dip to your table in a timely and orderly manner, I’d choose the walrus.
My dreams changed. I wanted to be famous when I was 10, when I got to high school, I wanted to be a rock star’s wife and star in all his videos, and by the time I hit college, I had my eyes on the prize–the national tour of Rent. I will give you a moment…
Now that the giggles have subsided, I will continue. Fame has always been in the back of my mind, unfortunately, until very recently. As shy as I can be, I used to crave the hell out of the spotlight. 
Not for me though, but for my fellow Pike County High School Pirates. I really want them to be able to say, “Oh, hell! I sat next to her in Mrs. Etheridge’s Chemistry class! I sent a letter to her fan club and got back a stupid autographed headshot. I saw her last Christmas at WalMart with her family and she snubbed me. She is such a bitch! Don’t want this movie!” I felt they should have that experience. They deserved it after all. Now that I am older, I doubt my likelihood for fame, glory, and a spot in People magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People list. (I think they would classify me as “quirky”) The constant that remained, however, was a deep love for theatre and art.
Since moving to Chicago, I have felt mostly settled. I no longer worry about searching for what’s next, because the experiences of Chicago theatre and improv are so great to begin with, if it doesn’t lead to anything bigger, I’ll be okay. There is a part of me that wonders what else is out there, wonders if I should have started all this when I was younger, but then I realize that I don’t want my soul sucked out and I am thankful that my mother did not allow me to become a child starlet. Now as I spend more and more time being a lazy performer and auditioning rarely due to life getting in the way, I still manage to find myself among other actors. Most of the time, it is a great place to be. Deep down, they have a love for the art as well. A lot of them, still remain starry-eyed, and though I don’t want to make fun of them, I kind of do…a little.
I am amused by actors who move to Chicago thinking they’ll hit it big as soon as possible. I am sure I’m not the only one here in the city to come across dreamer improvisers. You know, the ones who get here and don’t unpack their bags because they just know that next week Lorne Michaels will have already scooped them up for SNL? We’ve all had that dream or something similar at some point, but we didn’t believe in it to the point that we were silly about it. If I ever said it aloud, you’d best bet I said it jokingly. I would never believe for a second that I am motivated enough, let alone talented, to skyrocket into stardom.
Not to downplay mine or anyone else’s abilities, but let’s be realistic here: the kids in improv classes dead set on overnight success, generally speaking, have no business even knowing what improv is really. These kids have a bag of tricks consisting of, but not limited too– sub par space work initiations followed by the question “Hey…you! What is this thing?”, impersonations of [insert name of a comedy great here. Christopher Walken, I'm looking at you!], movie quotes…I could go on for days. Given the choice between seeing these kids make a Harold team and watching a drunken walrus perform, again, I will choose the walrus.
What is my point? Really, I’ve got no clue. Dream if you must, kids, but enjoy the ride as well. Shut your mouth and take your Ritalin, because you may actually learn something. Better yet, you may realize that you are right where you need to be, and it will make you happy. Then…it’s a novel idea…but you can relax. And without the added worry of impressing others with your impersonations or lying about that national commercial you shot for Desitin diaper rash ointment, you may actually find work you can believe in right in your own back yard. Hell, you may even make a friend or two who legitimately likes you, for you. Sure, everyone loves a star, but I prefer a pal. Stars don’t help you move and very rarely will they buy you a drink for your birthday.
So, while it is safe to dream, it is important to stay grounded. You should feel honored to simply work alongside fellow artists. To me, that means so much. If you have to wait tables, sell tickets, or serve coffee as a day job, so what? You also have something in your life that fulfills you and gives you great joy. That’s more than many stock brokers could ever say. Here is my advice to newcomers to Chicago who want to start acting in the city: Please, enjoy yourself, take deep breaths, do what inspires you, and find out about local drink and food specials. Be honest, be truthful, be real, don’t make up outlandish stories about your achievements when you call home, because I will find out about it. At the end of the day, none of your real friends will be impressed by any of that, be it truthful or not. And lastly, please tip that drunken walrus at least 20 percent. He’s got booze to buy.
