by Lina Bunte
I fell in love with him in the year 2000. I was in Amsterdam visiting my aunt. She took me to a movie. It was an American movie, with Dutch subtitles. His scenes were all in Spanish…with Dutch subtitles. I had no idea what he was saying, but I was memorized. I made a mental note of his name during the credits, and from then on, I’ve been in love. He first captured me with his disheveled good looks, squinting deep set, remarkably sexy eyes, and deep attractive voice. Following his Oscar winning performance for this movie, he went on to do a plethora of interviews. I watched as he would fidget, mumble, and stutter through the questions. He always seemed nervous and shy. In return, I would get nervous and shy watching him. I would also catch myself trying to hold back a sly half smile. I couldn’t help it. He made me smile.
As the years went by, I attended his movies on opening night, even if that meant that I had to go alone. In college, I remember ditching a Religious Studies class to go see him play a trained assassin who hides in the woods. There was a movie that I forced my friends to go see with me. They hated it, I loved it. He played an ex-convict turned born-again Christian. My friends said it was too dark, too confusing, and his performance was creepy. His latest movie was amazing. I went, once again, by myself. It was a Wednesday night, around 8pm. As I enter the theater to take my seat, I look around with wide eyes. No one was there. The seats were, and stayed completely empty. When he first appeared on screen, I smiled. My smile was so big, I had to look around to make sure nobody saw me. Then I realized that I was alone. What a way to experience a movie. His performance was amazing, as per usual. I laughed, I cried, I held my breath. It was only until after the movie that I felt a little depressed that I had gone by myself. I had no one to talk to about the brilliant movie I just saw.
No, I do not have every movie he has ever been in, but I have the good ones. Yes, I have spent money on things that have his face on them. For example, I couldn’t help myself when I saw a pillow case with his face on it. I had to have the check-book cover with multiple pictures of him all over it. If his face is on the cover of a magazine, I’ll buy it. Sometimes I’ll buy two copies, one to keep, and one to cut up and frame some of the pictures. He sometimes wears a silver ring with a piece of wood in the center. That way he can always knock on wood. I’ve looked high and low for a ring with a piece of wood in the middle, but to no avail.
If I were to ever see him in person, I would not approach him. Of course I would stare until my eyeballs fell out, but I would not approach him. For one thing, I don’t have the guts. And two…I don’t want my image of him to be squashed. Who knows what he’s really like. I don’t think I’ll ever find out. But a girl can dream can’t she?
As the saying goes, “Out of sight, out of mind”. It’s really true. My love/obsession/whatever you want to call it dies down once and a while. Really, I’m not a crazy, obsessed fan who would buy a half eaten taco of his on eBay. If new information comes out about a project he’s doing, I’ll read it and maybe, just maybe, I’ll dig out that ‘ol pillow case, and check book cover.
No matter what else is going on in the world, every February 19th, I make sure to send him Happy Birthday thoughts.