This past week CIC held Auditions for our upcoming show “The Book of Liz” set to open on Aug 29 and run through Sept 30. Angie McMahon was holding the auditions and here is her account of somethings NOT to do at Auditions. These are real things people did this week, but names will be kept out of it.
1. Don’t show up in a “What Would Satan Do?” T-Shirt. I realize we are called “Chemically Imbalanced Comedy” but show us how funny you are with your actions and not your T-shirt. I am all for being casual but you cloths (especially with words on them) are some insite on your personality. My guess is I would feel similarly if someone came in with a “What would Jesus Do” T-Shirt. For me it just feels like that is info for the second or Third Date. After we like each other and know each other a bit more.
2. Don’t read pornographic poems as your monologues. I am all about doing stories from books, movies, poems. But at least memorize it. Also think of your audience. When you do a poem about mutilating the womens vagina and there is a women who is Directing and Casting think that it may not be the best choice. I think dirty jokes are funny for the most part, but this show is pretty far away from being dirty so It is also not something I am looking for. And I don’t like to hear about cutting a women’s Vagina. Period.
3. Ventriloquist Dummies are Funny but unless you have been asked to prepare a Variety act for your auditions I would suggest not bringing them out.
4. I think props are ok BUT ask yourself why must I have this prop. Will it help to clarify a joke that will be lost on a space object? For instance if I feel it is very important to have sunglasses but felt I should mime the cigarette. Personally I don’t think either are necessary.
5. If you are doing a monologue about how you want to FUCK the person you are talking to I would suggest not delivering that directly to the person you are auditioning for. I would further suggest not to deliver that 3 inches from there face. (on a side note I love being told I am pretty and attractive, ask anyone, but it made me uncomfortable beyond explanation)
In closing, I would say don’t sweat it baby. Maybe write something if you can’t find something you like. Or ask someone you trust to help you with it. But learn from this. We will have auditions again in the winter. I hope to see you there. Angie
Thanks, this was hilarious but stern. this just made my day because I can recall someone doing this at auditions I’ve been on. Very helpful, thanks again!